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Phil Parker Lightning Process^TM

The Phil Parker Lightning Process (LP) is a training program that claims to help people recover from chronic fatigue syndrome, "resolve depression, anxiety, panic attacks, overeating, low self-esteem, guilt, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and other areas of stuckness [sic]," and "enhance ... performance in business and sports." He says his program also helps people with bad backs, migraines, "or anything people want to get better at."* The first thing that should come to mind when hearing these amazing things is: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

To be fair, though, we shouldn't dismiss LP without examining the scientific studies that demonstrate its effectiveness. Unfortunately, there aren't any studies to examine. What we can examine, though, is what LP's creator, Phil Parker, has to say about his program. Granted, he may be a bit biased, but let's examine what he has to say anyway.

First, Phil tells us that he is a graduate of a school of osteopathy and that he has been trained in cranial osteopathy and applied kinesiology, three exquisite pseudosciences. He's also studied hypnotherapy and neurolinguistic programming (NLP). None of these fields are proper preparation for treating chronic fatigue, depression, OCD, or the like. But perhaps Parker is a genius who just stumbled upon a program that can treat physical and psychological disorders, and can also enhance business and sports performances. What are the odds? In any case, he claims to have about 115 people who are practicing LP trainers in eleven countries.

Second, Phil tells us that his program is quite complicated and takes twelve hours to complete (three four-hour days). In that time, the program will find what's stopping you from having good health, holding up your golf game, or keeping you from being happy or rich. Then, he'll fix it. You can expect 70% improvement after the first day and by the end of the third day 85% are fixed.* (Unfortunately, Phil seems to have pulled these numbers out of his arse.)

What is LP? Phil doesn't say exactly, but he tells us on his website that it is an amazing hodgepodge of "concepts from NLP, Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching and Osteopathy."* That's fine, but what concerns me is that those of us who would like to know more about LP and how it differs, say, from NLP, are not directed to any empirical studies. Instead, Phil recommends that we do three things. Frist, we should go to his online store and buy his Introduction to the Lightning Process^TM Book for £20.00 plus P&P. Next, Phil says, we should watch his videos and read the testimonials of many success stories. Unfortunately, we know that testimonials are no substitute for scientific studies. I could treat people with dog spit and find at least 50 subjects who will swear that I cured their cancer or eliminated their irritable bowel syndrome. What we need to see are well-designed scientific studies that eliminate self-deception and isolate in specific ways what counts as success due to the training methods. Finally, Phil recommends we find the nearest Phil Parker Lightning Process^TM Practitioners and download their application form.

I don't think so. Phil says he's been doing this stuff for ten or fifteen years. He should have at least one scientific study we can look at. He should have a lot of data to work with. But I suspect that Phil doesn't keep records, except maybe accounting records. I hope he proves me wrong and sends me a copy of his research so I can rewrite this article and recommend that Phil be given the Nobel Prize for Medicine for his amazing discovery of a training program that can help my golf game while relieving me of chronic fatigue, excess weight, and the splitting headache I've acquired while thinking about the people who are so desperate that they'll seriously consider shelling out £780 ($1,330 or €1,004) for the LP program. (Prices as of October 22, 2008.)

I'm not suggesting that all the testimonials are from liars or paid hands. Nor am I suggesting that there are no satisfied LP clients. In fact, I would be willing to bet that some people have been helped by LP. That said, it should be obvious that anyone with a serious physical or mental disorder should seek treatment elsewhere from proper medical doctors. It is likely that many of LP's customers are people who are physically or emotionally miserable or unhappy. They may have been told by several professionals they've consulted that there's nothing wrong with them or that whatever ails them is something that nothing can be done about or that it's all in their head. They don't accept this and then they find that Phil Parker gives them hope. He promises to help them and do it quickly. The fee is irrelevant to the desperate client. So is hard evidence. Testimonials from so many nice looking, happy people is enough.

So, who gets helped? Not those with serious or chronic diseases. Those who get helped will be those who need somebody to guide them through life, somebody to get them to think about themselves and their goals. The ones who feel they got their money's worth will be those who needed to get their mind on the right track but had no idea of how to do it. It has been known for thousands of years, at least as far back as Aristotle, that how a person thinks affects how he behaves, and how he behaves affects how he feels and thinks. If you are constantly thinking about your sore toe or how everybody is against you, if you are constantly harboring negative and self-destructive thoughts, you will feel and behave accordingly. You can train yourself to think positively, to set positive and realistic goals, to develop criteria to measure success. You can act as if you are happy and you will be amazed how the way you act will affect the way you think and feel, and vice-versa. When you are miserable, you can do some of the things that you do when you are feeling well. Just doing them will affect how you feel and think. If you are happiest sitting by a stream in the mountains with nobody around, where the only sounds are those of the water trickling over the rocks and the wind rustling through the pines, then go to the mountains or pick up a book of poetry by someone like Wordsworth (as John Stuart Mill did when he was blue) and let your mind take you there.

There are lots of techniques for getting "unstuck." LP may provide you with a few. Remember, however, that neither Parker nor those he's trained will be posting testimonials from unsatisfied customers. That doesn't mean there aren't any. Many of those unsatisfied customers may be too embarrassed to admit that they've wasted their money. I don't know enough about Parker to say that he uses techniques that blame any failures on the client. But many other "alternative gurus" use these tricks: you're not trying hard enough; you don't have enough faith; you're not letting go of your old habits; you really are better but you just don't want to or can't admit it; or, unfortunately, you're resistant to the treatment.

further reading

Why Bogus Therapies Often Seem to Work by Barry L. Beyerstein, Ph.D.

Social and judgmental biases that make inert treatments seem to work by Barry L. Beyerstein (1999)

Who Gets to Validate Alternative Medicine?

How they do the voodoo that they do so well - Part 1

How they do the voodoo that they do so well - Part 2