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alphabiotics

"The Alphabiotic Alignment/Unification Process is accomplished with you lying on the back, with your head at the high end of the Alphabiotic Couch. It involves a gentle, though unique, movement of the head and is accomplished in less than fifteen seconds."*

Alphabiotics is an alternative medical practice based on the notion that "all disease is the result of an imbalance and lack of Life Energy." Health depends on "aligning" and "balancing" "Life Energy." The alignment and balance is achieved by neck manipulation and is called the "Alphabiotic alignment."

According to Alphabiotics.net:

The Alphabiotic Alignment is a hands-on process which instantly unifies the brain hemispheres, balances the energies within the nerve system and muscles and releases stress held within the mind/body. In this state of Alignment you begin to function better on levels [sic]: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, placing you in a more favorable position to heal yourself.

Alphabiotics is the brainchild of Dr. V. B. Chrane who started practicing it in the 1920's near Abilene, Texas. It was "established as a unique new profession by Dr. Virgil Chrane, Jr., on December 28, 1971," according to Virgil Chrane, Jr., and the practice is still flourishing with Virgil Jr. and his son, Dr. Michael Chrane.

The ducklings don't fall far from the quack.

The alphabiotics folks claim they are not chiropractors, call themselves priests, and claim that their practice is a "sacrament" of the Alphabiotic Church, otherwise known as the International Alphabiotic Association. I suppose this an attempt to avoid taxes or being charged with practicing medicine without a license or some such thing, though they do seem to adhere to a lot of metaphysical mumbo-jumbo about getting in touch with your "Inner Wisdom."

The Chranes train new "priests" in four days and give each trainee a certificate that says "doctor of divinity." The certificate also entitles the new "doctors" to enroll people in the Alphabiotic Church and to provide "church members" with the Alphabiotic alignment." New members to the "congregation" must sign a form that says they understand that alphabiotics is not chiropractic, not a therapy, and has nothing to do with the so-called healing arts.

In 2000, the Washington state Commission of Chiropractic Quality Assurance determined that some aspects of the alphabiotics alignment process are indistinguishable from chiropractic and that certain techniques used are associated with risk of stroke.

See also alternative health practice, and vitalism.

further reading

articles

"Alphabiotics" Practitioner Loses Chiropractic License Stephen Barrett, M.D.

Alternative Medicine and the Laws of Physics by Robert L. Park

Alphabiotics: Sorry guys, it's a cult! by Aaron Sakulich

Energy Healing: Looking in All the Wrong Places by Robert Todd Carroll

Why Bogus Therapies Often Seem to Work by Barry L. Beyerstein

websites

Alphabiotics Home Page (214) 369-5117

news stories

Mal-adjusted Seattle Weekly