A Collection of Strange Beliefs, Amusing Deceptions, and Dangerous Delusions

From Abracadabra to Zombies | View All



Here is the opportunity of a lifetime. Get in on the ground floor. Get rich and benefit humankind in the process. Join the MLM organization of Dr. Harry R. Alsleben and save money by getting discounts on CALORAD, the magic liquid that helps you lose weight while you sleep. This is not your ordinary MLM because it is called a "binary" sales organization with a "binary" compensation plan. Yet, like "non-binary" MLMs, this one promises four ways to profit: (1) discounts on the product; (2) profits from retail sales of the product; (3) commissions from retail sales of those you recruit to sell the product; and (4) bonuses.

Of course, this is just a "limited time" offer, so you must hurry. (Who knows when the good Dr. will be indicted?) In fact, the information about CALORAD which you will read about below may have been changed since this was first posted (Sept. 1, 1996). A recent (4-6-97) look at Dr. Alsleben's pages shows that he is changing his CALORAD page. The message today was: COMING SOON SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT CALORAD AND PROSPERITY

So, the following may just be a description of what you missed out on because you did not act fast enough!

According to Dr. Alsleben


With a "sizzle" product like Calorad, your downline can grow beyond your imagination. For example, one distributor has over 300 distributors in her downline, yet she only personally signed up 15 of them. She is now earning $1,750 per week, and that's just the beginning.

I'm sure it is. Tell me more about this "binary marketing program with incredible potential."

There is no competition.

And why is that? Because it is special and unique and only we have the secret formula.


1.Collagen Hydrolysat - from bovine (Canadian Cattle). It is the right combination of an amino acid chain (protein chain) that naturally assists the body to a healthier you. NOTE: Canada has the toughest laws making sure their meat processing goes beyond good standards. Furthermore, the Essentially Yours company goes beyond all expectations making sure each batch of CALORAD is micro-tested for safety.
2.Aloe Vera - a healing plant that has been used for thousands of years externally and internally to heal the body's parts and systems.
3.Glycerin - Comes from vegetables and used as a BINDER to bridge the elements.
4.Potassium sorbate - Is a MINERAL needed by every cell in the body.
5.Methyl paraben - A natural preservative that is derived only from plants and fruits.
6.Natural peach flavor
7.Ascorbic acid - Vitamin C



Of course it is a food. We know that the FDA persecutes people who try to peddle snake oil and make wild, unsubstantiated claims for their product. We are smart enough to know that really smart people make wild unsubstantiated claims and then state that they deny making any such claims in order to protect themselves from prosecution and persecution. We also know that you can make any claims you want about food without fear of the FDA going after you, since food is not a drug. Of course, there is always the FTC and fraud laws and other governmental obstacles to the pursuit of total financial independence which have to be dealt with, but in good time. Anyway, Dr. Alsleben can't help gushing about this product. Here is what this "food" is said to do:

"Just take one tablespoon of this nutritious liquid in a glass of water on an empty stomach when you go to bed and while you sleep you can lose pounds and inches, firm muscles and skin, have more energy, look better and feel better!"

Most people experience body inch loss within the first week or two.

CALORAD works during the first 45 to 90 minutes of sleep. While the mind goes to rest the human body goes to work in a process of revitalization and repair. CALORAD positively ENHANCES the body toward optimum health during this time period when it is taken correctly.

in 1985, CALORAD was REVISED and IMPROVED as a 100% natural, safe and effective pure food designed for use by people

There are plenty of testimonials as to the wonders of CALORAD, but no studies to support them.

The good Dr.Alsleben informs us that the potion was first developed for "agricultural" purposes. It was first used on cattle and chickens and we all know how important it is for those animals to be lean. (Actually, I didn't know this but Dr. Alsleben tells us that fat chickens don't lay eggs. Live and learn!)

Dr. Alsleben used to run a correspondence school in Bonita, California, called the University of the Healing Arts. He unabashedly admits that he merged his practices, laboratories and research with Dr. Kurt W. Donsbach at Hospital Santa Monica in Rosarito Beach, B.C., Mexico. This is the same Donsbach who founded Donsbach University in the late 1970's, later renamed the International University for Nutrition Education . His correspondence school was famous for its pseudo-credentialing in nutrition. The school was never accredited but that did not prevent thousands from seeking pseudo-degrees which made them Doctors in such areas as "Clinical Nutrimedicine and Biological Sciences." This great university offers majors in "nutri-medical dentistry," "nutri-medical eye and visual health care," "nutri-medical homeopathy," and "therapeutic nutrimedicine." Donsbach used to run his operation out of Chula Vista, California. He apparently went south of the border to join forces with Dr. Alsleben.. You too can join them and find health, happiness and financial security. But remember, when you make your sales pitch for CALORAD remind people that it is a food which must be taken on an empty stomach.

September 1, 1996
revised April 6, 1997
update: February 1, 1998 : Kurt Donsbach is sentenced to prison
update: 16 Jan 2010: this boy just doesn't quit:
"Kurt Donsbach, 74, is charged with five counts each of practicing medicine without a license and selling misbranded drugs with intent to defraud." Read all about it: Phony Bonita doctor charged with felonies

update: 17 Dec 2010. One reason Donsbach doesn't quit is because he doesn't get punished too severely when he's caught. Steven Barrett, who has been following Donsbach's nefarious activities for forty years, write that Donsbach recently:

pleaded guilty to 13 felony charges: five counts of practicing medicine without a license, five counts of selling/distributing misbranded drugs, and one count each of of attempted grand theft, grand theft, and being a felon in possession of a firearm. He also admitted that he personally inflicted a great bodily injury on one of the victims related to the unlicensed practice of medicine. The Court agreed to sentence him to probation...

Probation? Yes, and Donsbach must promise not to be bad again.


more Too Good to Be True
Last updated 12/09/10

This page was designed by Cristian Popa.